Saturday, May 1, 2010

Being Jewish?

Being Jewish ?
Q: What is a Jewish ménage-a-troisA: Two headaches and an erection.

Q: Why did Adam and Eve have a perfect marriage?A: He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about the way his mother cooked

Q: What business is a yenta in?A: Yours.

Q: How do Jewish wives get their children ready for supper?A: They put them in the car.

Q: What is the technical term for a divorced Jewish woman?A: Plaintiff

Q: What does a Jewish woman do to keep her hands soft and her nails long?A: Nothing at all

Q: Define "genius"A: An average student with a Jewish mother

Q: If Tarzan and Jane were Jewish, what would Cheetah be?A: A fur coat

Q: What do you call the nipple on a Jewish wife's breast?A: The tip of the iceberg

Q: What mechanical device causes the most arousal in a Jewish woman? A: A Mercedes 550SL convertible

Jewish proverb: "A Jewish wife will forgive and forget, but she'll never forget what she forgave."


One of life's mysteries - how a 2 Ib. box of chocolates can make a Jewish woman gain 5 lbs.
Another of life's mysteries is when a Jewish woman hangs something in her wardrobe for a while and it shrinks two sizes!


The trouble with some Jewish women is that they get all excited about nothing; then they marry him.


A Bar Mitzvah is defined as the day when a Jewish boy comes to realize that he is more likely to own a professional sports team than he is to play for one.

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