A Jewish couple in London won twenty-million pounds in the lottery. They bought a magnificent mansion in Knights-bridge and surrounded themselves with all the material wealth imaginable.

They decided to hire a butler. They found the perfect butler through an agency, very proper and very British, and brought him back to their home.

The day after his arrival, he was instructed to set up the dining table for four, as they were inviting the Cohen’s to lunch. The couple then left the house to do some shopping .

When they returned, they found the table set for eight. Perplexed, they asked the butler why it was set for eight when they had expressly asked him to set it for four.

The butler replied,

"The Cohen’s telephoned and said they were bringing the Blintzes and the Knishes."

Happy Passover !!!!!

Have a Happy, HEALTHY Pesach  !!!!!

To Whom Does The Land of Israel Belong?

An Israeli with a sense of humor at UN has set the record straight.

An ingenious example of speech and politics occurred recently in the United Nations Assembly and made the world community smile.

A representative from Israel began: 'Before beginning my talk I want to tell you something about Moses: When he struck the rock and it brought forth water, he thought, 'What a good opportunity to have a bath!'

So, Moses removed his clothes, put them aside on the rock and entered the water. When he got out and wanted to dress, his clothes had vanished. A Palestinian had stolen them!

The Palestinian representative at the UN jumped up furiously and shouted, 'What are you talking about? The Palestinians weren't even there then.'

The Israeli representative smiled and said, 'And now that we have made that clear, I will begin my speech..'.

FW: FIRST JEWISH BROADCAST - 1944 (during WW2 from Nazi Germany)

This is very touching piece of history to watch


The First Jewish Broadcast 1944
This is an incredible broadcast.
Just put your speakers on and you are in for a very special experience.

Click Here: Israel News - The First Jewish Broadcast On Nazi Soil - 1944 Infolive.Tv

What It Means To Be Jewish

WHAT IT MEANS TO BE JEWISH......

As a general principle, Jewish holidays are divided between days on which you must starve and days on which you must overeat. Many Jews observe no fewer than 16 fasts throughout the Jewish year, based on the time-honored principle that even if you are sure that you are ritually purified, you definitely aren't. Though there are many feasts and fasts, there are no holidays requiring light snacking. Note: Unlike Christians, who simply attend church on special days (e.g. Ash Wednesday), on Jewish holidays most Jews take the whole day off.
This is because Jews, for historical and personal reasons, are more stressed out.

The Diet Guide to the Jewish Holidays:
Rosh Hashanah ---- Feast
Tzom Gedalia ----- Fast
Yom Kippur ------- More fasting
Sukkot ----------- Feast for a week
Hashanah Rabbah -- More feasting
Simchat Torah ---- Keep right on feasting
Month of Heshvan - No feasts or fasts for a whole month. Oy veh!
Hanukkah --------- Eat potato pancakes and donuts
Tenth of Tevet --- Do not eat potato pancakes
Tu B'Shevat ------ Feast
Fast of Esther --- Fast
Purim ------------ Eat pastry
Passover --------- Do not eat pastry for a week
Shavuot ---------- Dairy feast (cheesecake, blintzes, etc.)
17th of Tammuz --- Fast (definitely no cheesecake or blintzes)
Tish B'Av -------- Serious fast (don't even think about cheesecake or blintzes) Month of Elul ---- End of cycle.
Enroll in Center for Eating Disorders before High Holidays arrive again.

There are many forms of Judaism:
Cardiac Judaism ------ In my heart I am a Jew.
Gastronomic Judaism -- We eat Jewish foods.
Pocketbook Judaism --- I give to Jewish causes.
Drop-off Judaism ----- Drop the kids off at Sunday School; then go out to breakfast.
Twice a Year Judaism - Attend services on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur.

You know you grew up Jewish when:
-You did not respond to the teacher calling roll on the first day of school because you thought your name was "Princess".
-You've had at least one female relative who drew eyebrows on her face that were always asymmetrical.
-You spent your entire childhood thinking that everyone calls roast beef "brisket." --Your family dog responds to complaints uttered in Yiddish.
-Every Sunday afternoon of your childhood was spent visiting your grandparents.
-You've experienced the phenomena of 50 people fitting into a 10-foot-wide dining room hitting each other with plastic plates & forks trying to get to a deli tray.
-You thought pasta was the stuff used exclusively for kugel and kasha with bowties.
-You watched Lawrence Welk and Ed Sullivan every Sunday night.
-You were as tall as your grandmother by age seven.
-You never knew anyone whose last name didn't end in one of 6 standard suffixes (-man,-witz, -berg, -stein, -blatt or -baum).
-You grew up and were surprised to find out that wine doesn't always taste like year-old cranberry sauce.
-You can look at gefilte fish without turning green.
-You grew up thinking there was a fish called lox.
-You can understand some Yiddish but you can't speak it.
-You know how to pronounce numerous Yiddish words and use them correctly in context, yet you don't exactly know what they mean...Is that kenahurra or is that kaninehurra?.
-You have at least one ancestor who is related to your spouse's ancestor.
-You grew up thinking it was normal for someone to shout "Are you okay? Are you okay?" through the bathroom door if you were in there for longer than 3 minutes.
-You have at least six male relatives named Michael or David.
-Your grandparent's furniture smelled like mothballs, was covered in plastic and was as comfortable as sitting on sandpaper.

May you have a day full of mazel and shalom!

Morris was a smart man.....

Morris Rabinowitz


In 1936, Morris Rabinowitz fled his native Germany. He sold his assets and made five sets of solid gold teeth with his cash, well above the limit he could bring into the U.S.

When he arrived in New York the customs official was perplexed as to why anybody would have five sets of gold teeth. So Morris explained: "Jews who keep kosher have two separate sets of dishes for meat products and dairy products, but, I am so religious I also have separate sets of teeth."
The customs official shook his head and said, "Well that accounts for two sets of teeth. What about the other three?"

“Very religious Jews use separate dishes for Passover, but, I am so Orthodox have separate teeth for Passover meat and for Passover dairy food...."

The customs official shook his head and said, "You must be a man of very strong faith to have separate teeth for meat and dairy products and likewise for Passover. That accounts for four sets of teeth. What about the fifth set?"

Morris looked around and spoke softly. "To tell you the truth," he said, "once in a while I like a ham sandwich."

Difference between Jews & Muslims

Subject: DIFFERENCE BETWEEN JEWS AND MUSLIMS

Now that the whole world is in a frenzy because Israel over reacted to a
deliberate baited provocation by Muslims. It is well that we once again
review the humanitarian accomplishments of the two faiths.

The DIFFERENCE BETWEEN JEWS AND MUSLIMS

The global Islamic population is approximately 1,200,000,000; that is ONE
THOUSAND TWO HUNDRED MILLION or 20% of the world's population.

They have received the following Nobel Prizes:

Literature:
1988 - Najib Mahfooz

Peace:
1978 - Mohamed Anwar El-Sadat
1990 - Elias James Corey
1994 - Yaser Arafat:
1999 - Ahmed Zewai

Economics:
(zero)


Physics:
(zero)

Medicine:
1960 - Peter Brian Medawar
1998 - Ferid Mourad

TOTAL: 7 SEVEN


The global Jewish population is approximately 14,000,000; only FOURTEEN
MILLION or about 0.02% of the world's population.
They have received the following Nobel Prizes:

Literature:
1910 - Paul Heyse
1927 - Henri Bergson
1958 - Boris Pasternak
1966 - Shmuel Yosef Agnon
1966 - Nelly Sachs
1976 - Saul Bellow
1978 - Isaac Bashevis Singer
1981 - Elias Canetti
1987 - Joseph Brodsky
1991 - Nadine Gordimer World

Peace:
1911 - Alfred Fried
1911 - Tobias Michael Carel Asser
1968 - Rene Cassin
1973 - Henry Kissinger
1978 - Menachem Begin
1986 - Elie Wiesel
1994 - Shimon Peres
1994 - Yitzhak Rabin

Physics:
1905 - Adolph Von Baeyer
1906 - Henri Moissan
1907 - Albert Abraham Michelson
1908 - Gabriel Lippmann
1910 - Otto Wallach
1915 - Richard Willstaetter
1918 - Fritz Haber
1921 - Albert Einstein
1922 - Niels Bohr
1925 - James Franck
1925 - Gustav Hertz
1943 - Gustav Stern
1943 - George Charles de Hevesy
1944 - Isidor Issac Rabi
1952 - Felix Bloch
1954 - Max Born
1958 - Igor Tamm
1959 - Emilio Segre
1960 - Donald A. Glaser
1961 - Robert Hofstadter
1961 - Melvin Calvin
1962 - Lev Davidovich Landau
1962 - Max Ferdinand Perutz
1965 - Richard Phillips Feynman
1965 - Julian Schwinger
1969 - Murray Gell-Mann
1971 - Dennis Gabor
1972 - William Howard Stein
1973 - Brian David Josephson
1975 - Ben jamin Mottleson
1976 - Burton Richter
1977 - Ilya Prigogine
1978 - Arno Allan Penzias
1978 - Peter L Kapitza
1979 - Stephen Weinberg
1979 - Sheldon Glashow
1979 - Herbert Charles Brown
1980 - Paul Berg
1980 - Walter Gilbert
1981 - Roald Hoffmann
1982 - Aaron Klug
1985 - Albert A. Hauptman
1985 - Jerome Karle
1986 - Dudley R. Herschbach
1988 - Robert Huber
1988 - Leon Lederman
1988 - Melvin Schwartz
1988 - Jack Steinberger
1989 - Sidney Altman
1990 - Jerome Friedman
1992 - Rudolph Marc us
1995 - Martin Perl
2000 - Alan J. Heeger

Economics:
1970 - Paul Anthony Samuelson
1971 - Si Mon Kuznets
1972 - Kenneth Joseph Arrow
1975 - Leonid Kantorovich
1976 - Milton Friedman
1978 - Herbert A. Si Mon
1980 - Lawrence Robert Klein
1985 - Franco Modigliani
1987 - Robert M. Solow
1990 - Harry Mark owitz
1990 - Merton Miller
1992 - Gary Becker
1993 - Robert Fogel

Medicine:
1908 - Elie Metchnikoff
1908 - Paul Erlich
1914 - Robert Barany
1922 - Otto Meyerhof
1930 - Karl Landsteiner
1931 - Otto Warburg
1936 - Otto Loewi
1944 - Joseph Erlanger
1944 - Herbert Spencer Gasser
1945 - Ernst Boris Chain
1946 - Hermann Joseph Muller
1950 - Tadeus Reichstein
1952 - Selman Abraham Waksman
1953 - Hans Krebs
1953 - Fritz Albert Lipmann
1958 - Joshua Lederberg
1959 - Arthur Kornberg
1964 - Konrad Bloch
1965 - Francois Jacob
1965 - Andre Lwoff
1967 - George Wald
1968 - Marshall W. Nirenberg
1969 - Salvador Luria
1970 - Julius Axelrod
1970 - Si r Bernard Katz
1972 - Gerald Maurice Edelman
1975 - Howard Martin Temin
1976 - Baruch S. Blumberg
1977 - Roselyn Sussman Yalow
1978 - Daniel Nathans
1980 - Baruj Ben acerraf
1984 - Cesar Milstein
1985 - Michael Stuart Brown
1985 - Joseph L. Goldstein
1986 - Stanley Cohen [& Rita Levi-Montalcini]
1988 - Gertrude Elion
1989 - Harold Varmus
1991 - Erwin Neher
1991 - Bert Sakmann
1993 - Richard J. Roberts
1993 - Phillip Sharp
1994 - Alfred Gilman
1995 - Edward B. Lewis
1996- Lu Rose Iacovino
TOTAL: 129!


The Jews are NOT brain washing children in military training camps,
teaching them how to blow themselves up and causing maximum deaths of Jews
and other non Muslims! The Jews don't hijack planes, nor kill athletes at
the Olympics, or blow themselves up in German restaurants.
There is NOT one single Jew that has destroyed a church. There is NOT a
single Jew that protests by killing people.

The Jews don't traffic slaves, nor have leaders calling for death to all the
Infidels.

Perhaps the world's Muslims should consider investing more in standard
education and less in blaming the Jews for all their problems.

Muslims must ask 'what can they do for humankind' before they demand that
humankind respects them!!

Regardless of your feelings about the crisis between Israel and their Arab
neighbors, even if you believe there is more blame on Israel 's part, the
following two sentences really say it all:

'If the Arabs put down their weapons today, there would be no more violence.
If the Jews put down their weapons today, there would be no more
Israel '. Benjamin Netanyahu

General Eisenhower Warned Us
It is a matter of history that when the Supreme Commander of the Allied
Forces, General Dwight Eisenhower, found the victims of the death camps he
ordered all possible photographs to be taken, and for the German people from
surrounding villages to be ushered through the camps and even made to bury
the dead.

He did this because he said in words to this effect:

'Get it all on record now - get the films - get the witnesses -because
somewhere down the road of history some bastard will get up and say that
this never happened'

Recently, the UK debated whether to remove The Holocaust from its school
curriculum because it 'offends' the Muslim population which claims it never
occurred. However, this is a frightening portent of the fear that is
gripping the world and how easily each country is giving into it.

It is now more than 60 years after the Second World War in Europe ended.
This e-mail is being sent as a memorial chain, in memory of the, 6 million
Jews, 20 million Russians, 10 million Christians, and 1,900 Catholic priests
who were 'murdered, raped, burned, starved, beat, experimented on and
humiliated' while the German people looked the other way!

Now, more than ever, with Iran , among others, claiming the Holocaust to be
'a myth,' it is imperative to make sure the world never forgets.


How many years will it be before the attack on the World Trade Center 'NEVER
HAPPENED' because it offends some Muslim in the United States ?